


what's the use of feeling blue?

by Fluoradine



Series: McHanzo Week 2017 [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Homesickness, M/M, McHanzo Week 2017, Red/Blue - Freeform, no hurt this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 00:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11264160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluoradine/pseuds/Fluoradine
Summary: Hanzo feels a little homesick - Jesse can understand.





	what's the use of feeling blue?

It was a thunderstorm. Rain had been falling in sheets for twenty minutes, accompanied by booming thunderclaps and bright flashes of lightning. Hanzo was staring at the storm from his bedroom window, looking out into the dull yard far below his room. He was still wearing his archery outfit from that day’s training, which was starting to feel a little uncomfortable now that he’d had it on for six hours. His eyes were tired, and he’d been considering finishing the day and going to sleep, but his train of thought was keeping him up. Something was off, and he couldn’t perfectly place what the cause of this weird feeling was. 

Drops of rain fell onto the green yard down below as Hanzo thought in silence. This wasn’t a view that he was used to - both him and Jesse had been transferred from Gibraltar to another recently reopened Watchpoint in Caen, France. They’d arrived a few days ago and had been putting all of their time into setting up the base for full operating, rather than team briefing or regular missions. Everyone had been excited about the new base, which was the fourth one Overwatch had officially brought back since the recall. Hanzo and Jesse had been chosen to operate out of there by Captain Amari, who had assured everyone that this was to be a great step forward in Overwatch’s return, and that the base would be just as efficient as any other. 

But while the Caen base was nice, it felt all too empty. The large facility had been abandoned during Overwatch’s fall, and was used as a storage facility for years as it rotted away in isolation. When Hanzo first arrived, he was most struck by the silence. While the place looked and functioned exactly like Gibraltar did, he knew it couldn’t possibly be the same; it was lifeless, colourless, and felt like the exact opposite of a home. Hanzo knew that he’d eventually get used to it - living in ugly and lifeless places used to be what he was used to, after all - but so far his new living arrangement had been anything but welcoming. 

Hanzo supposed he had gotten attached to the Gibraltar base after the last year and a half he’d spent there, and that was why he was so put off by the sudden change. He’d built a makeshift home on the Watchpoint where he could grow as a person, letting go of his old life and trying to change for the better. He’d found friends in some, comfort in others, and for once he didn’t feel like he was on the wrong side of things. Now all that progress was threatening to stay behind in Gibraltar, and Hanzo feared what might happen if a change of scenery became another change of life. 

“You falling asleep back there?” Jesse called out, and Hanzo looked away from the window to see his boyfriend holding a mug of tea in one hand, and a bottle of whiskey in the other. Jesse had been helping the other agents set up since early morning, and Hanzo hadn’t had much time to see him yet that day. 

“I’m only thinking.” Hanzo said as Jesse came to sit next to him, pouring some of the whiskey into the tea. His weight sunk into the small bed, and Hanzo leaned back a little as he felt him beside him. 

“Well, what’re you thinking about, Han?” Jesse asked. As he did, a clap of thunder sounded outside. Hanzo didn’t react. He usually found comfort in loud storms, but he was too dejected to fully enjoy it right now.

“Many things. None of which really make much sense, to be quite honest,” he said as Jesse took a sip from the mug. “We haven’t been here for more than a week, right?”

“Three days. I’m still a little bit jet-lagged, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about anything. I just…feel odd, to put it into words,” Hanzo said, reaching for the mug and taking a sip. The tea was a perfect strength, but it was burning hot, and the combined whiskey made Hanzo’s throat feel like it was on fire. “Like I’m not entirely sure about our new surroundings.”

“Tell me what about them’s bothering you, then.” Jesse said. He took the drink back from Hanzo, and set it on the nightstand beside them. Hanzo knew there was no shame in telling Jesse how he felt. They were similar people, and felt the same way about most things. It was how they’d been drawn to each other in the first place, and what had made their relationship last this long. After a year, Hanzo was no longer afraid to admit when he felt blue, and neither was Jesse. They got through nearly everything together, and this, no matter how insignificant it might be, would be no different. 

“This place feels empty. It is too quiet, and has too much room, with not enough to fill all the spaces. Even after they put everything back together, it still doesn’t resemble a base, much less a living space. It’s like it is fake. Does that make sense, Jesse?”

Jesse nodded. They’d been together long enough to understand what the other couldn’t always put into words perfectly. “Even the air is heavier here,” Hanzo continued. “It doesn’t feel right. I fear it might never be a real home.”

“In comparison to what?” Jesse asked. 

“Gibraltar. That was the last place I called home.” 

“You miss that place?” Jesse asked in surprise. 

Hanzo turned to look at him properly. “What do you mean?”

Jesse shrugged his shoulders. “That’s not a bad thing, Hanzo. I just didn’t think it would be somewhere to miss. And I didn’t think you’d actually care about moving,” he responded. “We’re pretty used to going from place to place, right?”

“I haven’t been familiar with it for a while,” Hanzo said, looking outside again as lightning flashed. “I suppose I’d gotten used to being in one place with one person.”

“I know what you mean. I’d gotten pretty used to it, too,” Jesse said. “But at least we didn’t lose everything. We’re still working with the same people, same continent, jobs and training. And we’re still together. As long as you’re with me, I don’t think there’s any place I couldn’t go,” Jesse said, and Hanzo softened a little. “But if you wanna hear my honest opinion, I don’t really think Gibraltar’s worth missing.”

“Perhaps it isn’t.” Hanzo said, but Jesse shook his head to stop him.

“No, I really mean it. The whole base is ugly. Navy blue everywhere, old posters stuck to the walls…we could barely fit inside the beds together, remember?” 

Hanzo smiled again. “Yes, I remember. But there were quite a few good things to go along with it, as well.”

“I know. It’s okay that you miss it. I don’t like moving around too much, either,” Jesse said. “Always get too attached to things. If you want, we can ask for another transfer tomorrow. Not too sure that Morrison would put us through, but Ana might.”

“I’ll think about it before I sleep,” Hanzo said as another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky outside.

“No, forget that. Don’t think about it anymore. I’m pretty tired, and I’m thinking we should get some shut-eye in before tomorrow.” Jesse said, leaning over Hanzo to get the cup of tea again.

“You mean to say that isn’t keeping you wide awake?” Hanzo asked, and Jesse chuckled.

“Nothing wrong with a late-night drink, Han. Few more minutes awake won’t hurt, I guess. But you should at least get out of that outfit. Change of clothes should help you feel a little bit better.” Jesse said as Hanzo leaned his head onto his shoulder. 

“Any suggestions for something more comfortable?”

“Don’t you have those bunny slippers from Hana?” Jesse suggested with a yawn. 

Hanzo chuckled. “I’ll look for them.” He kissed Jesse’s cheek as thunder boomed outside again. “But thank you for listening, Jesse.”

“It’s what I want to do, Han. There’s no use in feeling sad on your own. And we can always make this place feel a little warmer,” Jesse said, kissing him on his own cheek. “I know I’ve already got my home right here.”

Hanzo chuckled again, and Jesse kissed him properly, tasting a little like mild tea and hard liquor. In that moment, he felt like all his worry had been washed away, the blue turned to red, and he believed what Jesse had said. As long as he was with him, anywhere could be a welcoming home.


End file.
